At this very moment my husband is on a plane soaring over the Pacific ocean, back to us. Back home. Sayonara, Shanghai.

And after all of the stressing and not sleeping and pre-planning and then the solo-parenting I have done in the past week and a half, I'm honestly wondering where the time went. It flew. (Obviously it slipped away from me, as I did not blog even half as much as I had intended.)

I guess when you just do what you have to do, especially as a parent, time becomes kind of an unimportant factor in your life.

Tonight I had the bedtime routine down to an art. Baths for both, Bottle for baby, Baby Einstein for both, Lullabies for baby, Chapter book for little girl. I never thought I'd be able to synchronize bedtimes for two kids so far apart in age. But tonight (after a few disasterous attempts earlier in the week) the girls were comfortable and patient in our new routine. It was actually pleasant.

Even after an entire week of baby deciding this was a good time to start fighting sleep ... Even after little girl had a giant meltdown because she had to get herself dry and dressed and threw her washcloth at me, and so I left her wailing naked in the bathroom... Even after those nights when both girls were melting down simultaneously...

As I tucked them both in and kissed them goodnight tonight, there was this tiny (crazy) part of me that wished I could do it all again tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, there were absolutley days I wondered how we would make it through the next hour, asked myself what the hell kind of mother I was. My girls are (well, like me) stubborn, headstrong and not exactly adaptable to big change. This was a pretty sudden shock- not having Dad to help distribute the required amount of attention. For a couple of days Erinne and I had some flu-ey headcold and woke up with the same bad attitude. Kaitley had a couple of bad days of teething- waking up every few hours at night, and during the day, screaming at even the smallest irritation (like, getting lotion put on her arms, for example.) This combined with the sudden downturn in the weather...There were some dark times my friends.


But then, on the other hand... In the past 10 days:


Kaitley started crawling, standing and saying her own name. (!!!!)

Erinne and I rode the train to the city together, and genuinely laughed at the same jokes the whole way there.

Erinne learned that she could help keep her sister happy by sharing some of her toys with her, and did it willingly.

Kaitley decided there were a few other people that were cool enough to carry her around besides Mom.

I fixed the printer, the swingset, and the dishwasher by myself.

One morning, both girls woke up around 5am so I brought them into bed with me. We all fell back into a sweet sleep and didn't wake up until after 9.

I danced with my 5 year old in her fairy wings and tutu and flower petals and for a small moment, truly saw her for who she really is.

I learned the importance of taking care of myself


So while I am incredibly glad my husband is on his way home, where he belongs, with me and my lovely, precocious little daughters, I guess this whole experience was a lot like when you go from not having children to having them. It kind of changes your perspective and makes you a better person than you ever thought you were.

But next time, I'm still GOING!


-Cindy